- Mohamad Kalaaji
It has been a while since I have written a proper blogpost, a lot of events happened and I went on a hiatus on everything for a while due to burnout (for my personal health) but I am trying to get back but slowly this time.
Recently I have been taking a break on everything and trying to figure things out, there are a lot of elements that I want to achieve in my life but due to several events that I have slipped to a meaningless abyss where I lost touch to the things that I love doing the most.
Focusing on Tech
For certain period of past time, I started sharing posts and articles about other non tech topics like psychology and philosophy which might and might not strike the interest of the people around me.
I have dived deep into those topics where I am able to understand people on a deeper level along with helping them in their tough times and adopted Stoicism as a philosophy of life. The change is noticeable and it is the good type of change but I started to realize that I am shifting away from tech where a good portion of my time is dedicated to learn other topics.
I am not an expert nor a professional when it comes to philosophy and psychology but they are nice things to learn about. A good portion of the people around me know that I am a tech guy and know that my career resolves around coding software.
I have decided to put my focus on my tech career, shift towards writing more articles about tech, and document my steps to share for others. In other words: I am focusing on the thing that I am known for rather than focusing on things that rarely represent me directly (tho they are nice things to learn about but we can talk about philosophy and psychology on the side like I don't mind at all over coffee someday).
Personal notes to become public announcement
People on social media are positively interacting on my book reading progress and asking the same questions every time: how do I take my notes? And what do I do with my notes?
I have been taking notes for more than 3 years and I will be releasing them to the public to benefit from. My notes are bidirectionally connected in a graph that better aids the search of other similar topic notes to help create concrete documents for book writing or research papers, it utilizes the Zettelkasten method and my tool of choice is Obsidian
The notes will be shared on a dedicated website and it will include a graph of all the notes interconnected with each other to see their magic in action. This will take time since I have migrated 2% of my current private archive into digital
Blog and Podcast updates
I have joked about starting a podcast but it is no longer joking matter, I decided to make it a reality with a mic and software available. The biggest issue was finding a topic and since I am shifting back to tech, I am going to make it a tech oriented podcast.
The name was the hardest part, I was going to opt towards "The Technolaaji Podcast" but decided to go with "Reconfigured" or "Reconfigured with technolaaji" (domains bought for it). It will be season based and each season will talk about a specific theme (a season can be dedicated for frontend, season dedicated for backend, and much more)
The blog is going to be used with the podcast to show notes, that doesn't mean that the blog will be dedicated for the podcast but as a complementary element.
The podcast is going to take time to produce, this is due to the fact that I am doing this in my free time and the brutal electricity cuts in Lebanon.
If you feel you want to be part of this, feel free to contact me so that we can arrange an episode or two together talking about a topic of your choice
I have been facing a tough burnout for a while. There are a lot of things to do and everything is planned out yet I didn't manage to execute everything on the list as I would have expected it.
Lots of setbacks, betrayals, high expectations on things and people, along with pressure of doing multiple things at once have made me lose touch of the things I do love in life. My days became routine like where I can expect what will happen bit by bit. I am becoming to feel anhedonic (which is the lack of feeling pleasure even in the things I love doing in the past), Anhedonia is the building block towards depression and I don't want to reach to this position.
Upon reflecting on my daily journal (I have been journaling daily for 2 years now) that I started to realize those negative points in my life and I wanted to get rid of them. I started by changing the way I handle things on a psychological level (lessons learned from Stoicism) and on a hierarchical level where I have decided to go digital instead of analog. I am known for assigning my tasks on notebooks and getting them done but I have been wasting a good sum of time trying to set up my notebooks based on sprints and daily logs which consumes a good deal of energy, going digital with an established system have gradually made things super easy for me to work with.
I have decided to depend on Things 3 for setting up my daily tasks/ upcoming tasks and projects/ and categorizing my life into areas based on the GTD framework, a digital pomodoro timer for dedicate my energy for 25 minutes and rest for 5 minutes, and Timecap to register my habits to achieve them daily. I have been trying this workflow for a while and it has been showing a decent amount of results yet I can't give my full feedback till I pass at least a month or two in this specific workflow.
You must be ready to burn yourself in your own flame; how could you rise a new if you have not first became ashes? - Nietzsche
Here is the thing: everyone arounds you is promoting the idea of the toxic hustle culture and that everyone wants to be their own boss with no rules and exceptions or to become the greatest and climb the corporate ladder tougher than everyone else yet get caught working more than 16 hours daily and not taking a break for something that doesn't even represents them. Imagine burning yourself down for the sake of things that aren't for yourself to claim in the first place, doing the bare minimum that you should be doing and moving on in your life got a bad reputation because it is not "hustling enough" but it is the right thing to do since it takes you on the path of less burning out.
There are many things that I wanted to do for myself yet I didn't manage to do so, it is even tough seeing everything perfectly planned out in details and when you do them in the future you get depressed because you could have done them in the past but you chose to set yourself in a limbo stage at the current moment. Doing things and sucking at them now are better than not doing them at all or doing them after a long period where you have even more responsibilities to hold on to.
I don't like to talk about this topic but I have been left with no choice than to discuss about it. I don't know where to start or how to start this topic.
Recently I have been trying to express my thoughts online in my own way, we live in a free world where everyone has full rights to express themselves in the way each person pleases, I have noticed for a good amount of time that a decent amount of people contradicting with what I am saying in a matter that it is more ego centered towards them even though my ideas were meant to be more general and public oriented.
The same way I have rights to express about certain things, those people have the rights to express on what I have expressed but it wasn't in a civil manner but in a childish egoistic manner. I don't wish to condone fights nor issues with those people but they did in other type of childish manners.
I do like to debate but in a civil manner yet this is not even achievable in our current times. There is no boundaries to human stupidity these days.
The dichotomy of freedom
Freedom is a wonderful thing, you have rights to do anything you want yet it gives powers to people who don't deserve it in the first place but what happens when you give full freedom to egoistic yet power hungry individuals? Chaos, that is what you get.
Nowadays, random movements and individuals are showing up saying that they are rightful when it is not since they have "freedom of speech" yet these movements and individuals are crippling people who can't defend themselves along with framing them as they are the ones doing all the fuss when in reality: those movements and individuals are doing the fuss to stay relevant since they know that they will be forgotten in the least amount of time possible.
Cancel culture is a thing
After giving freedom to unworthy people, it is time to build an audience to sound more authentic and genuine hence you hunt down people, if they don't agree with you or contradict your own ideology then you will get cancelled for no reason
The irony is that you don't have rights to not agree and contradict those people and those movements yet they claim that they have full rights to express what they want because "we live in a free world" hence cancelling you out is allowed but you fighting back is forbidden.
What is even funnier is that their followers are clueless as the creator of the movement or the influencer himself/herself. A good portion of them don't know what they are following but they are doing it to not be casted out and get cancelled.
The rise of social snowflakes
"Snowflake" is a 2010s derogatory slang term for a person, implying that he or she has an inflated sense of uniqueness, an unwarranted sense of entitlement, or are overly-emotional, easily offended, and unable to deal with opposing opinions. Common usages include the terms "special snowflake", "Generation Snowflake", and "snowflake" as a politicized insult. - Wikipedia
This section from Wikipedia explains it perfectly and it is becoming a norm nowadays.
People contradicting you online? They have full rights to do and fighting back puts you in a bad place because they claim the problem is with you not them.
You contradicting others who contradicted you in the past? Not allowed, you will get called online and get cancelled not to mention that you have to fix your attitude on how you talk with people as if there is a certain etiquettes to follow by even thought you might have contradicted them in the same manner or even lesser than what they have done but their self proclaimed fragile ego doesn't allow it.
Why I am writing about this in the first place
It is not that I am going to do anything about this (honestly there is no solution to human stupidity otherwise we would have sold that as a product years ago) but I am highlighting it to the public to show that this is something that is happening out there.
If you are a victim of being cancelled by a certain douchebag for being yourself, feel free to contact me and to vent out about this manner. I would love to hear other stories about this social phenomenon.